Wednesday One-liners: tree-huggers and terrorists

I know a hobbit. I know a couple of hobbits, actually.

 

What’s your natural hair color?
-I don’t know… Dirty blonde?
Yeah, I’ve always thought you were a dirty blonde.

 

How did you get these bruises, by kicking the trees?
-No, I hug them!

 

You don’t need to talk to a German. You just need to drink with one.

 

I hate my liver. That’s why I punish it every weekend.

 

He’s like, the runt of the terrorists.

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